


You'll Die By My Hands

by Tarttit_PLL



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Assassination, Gon is very clueless, Illumi tries to be a big brother, Killua goes through hella shit basically, Killua has a potty mouth, Killua is really scared of Illumi, Kurapika is a momsie, Love, Milluki is a major dick, Multi, PTSD Killua, The fuck is going on with the family?, What even are my tags anymore??, beatings, i'm sorry in advance, school au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarttit_PLL/pseuds/Tarttit_PLL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua Zoldyck didn't want the life he was born in. The life that comes with being born into the family of the Zoldycks. He had to kill for a living and he didn't enjoy it. He hated the life he had and the punishment it came with every time he screwed up a job his father assigned.<br/>He hated the jobs, period.<br/>Especially the new one he had. He'd have to attend a school to kill his new target.<br/>The target that would soon change his life for the better.<br/>The target that had to die by his hands.<br/>Gon Freecss.</p><p> </p><p>**FIC IS DISCONTINUED**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hnng! This is my first attempt at a fanfic that has multiple chapters so this is kind of exciting! I'll be editing the tags as I go on with the other chapters(?) so, if those change, you'll know.  
> Happy reading!

_Whip_

"This hurts me more than it hurts you..."

Lies.

_Whip_

"This is the only way you'll learn..."

Stop.

_Whip_

"It's for the best..."

Please.

_Whip_

 

And then it was over.

I woke up with to the feeling of my clothing clinging to my sweaty body. I sighed in annoyance and rubbed my eyes, adjusting to the brightness of the outdoors from my window. It was Sunday and my father had not given me a job since I screwed up the last one he gave me. Again.

I sighed and arose from the damp cotton sheets beneath me when I heard a knock on my door.

"Kil?"

God I hate that nickname...

"What?" I asked, not hiding the bitter tone in my voice.

I heard my brother's barely audible sigh before he turned the knob to my door and stepped inside my sanctuary.

A place where he _wasn't_ allowed.

He closed the door behind himself and stared at my messy appearance. "Father told me about you being hesitant again on a job"

"Oh yeah?" I let out a humorless laugh "So what? I still got the job done... What's the big deal about being hesitant?" Seriously. I'm being forced to kill a bunch of lowlives because of an order I was given by my father. Kill someone. Who wouldn't be hesitant about killing someone they don't even know?

"You can die from hesitation, Kil" He stressed me for the umpteenth time this month. "They could've had a hidden weapon, Kil. A trump card."

"Illumi, I don't care. You don't care. So stop acting like you do." I waved him off and began looking through my drawers for a more sanitary wardrobe. I turned my back to him to grab my towel hanging on my wall then turned around to met by the dark eyes of my oldest brother.

The emptiness of his large, coal colored, hypnotizing eyes always sent shivers through my body. He never blinked, as if he never wanted to break the contact he had with my soul.

"Did you say that I 'don't care'? Killua?" He leaned in closer to me, his eyes digging deeper into my conscience.

I gulped and felt my palms getting moist against my side. I opened my mouth to respond, but I suddenly forgot how to talk. My body went stiff as he raised a single finger and placed it against the middle of my forehead.

"We all care about you, Kil. Especially mother." He whispered, never breaking contact with me. "She sent me in here to talk some sense into your brain before she punished you."

I knew it.

How couldn't I have? Illumi only came into my room to scare me shitless before I got whipped to a pulp after he left. He never came into my room genuinely. No one did.

A single strand of his bone-straight, ebony hair fell from behind his ear. He stood up straight and swiftly corrected the place of the wandering strand to behind his ear before turning around and walking out of my room. I didn't notice I'd been standing in the same place for a few long minutes until I found myself gasping for air. Illumi was the only person that had that effect on me and I didn't know why.

-

I didn't bother to shower since I'd be chained and whipped in a few minutes, so I laid on my bed until I was called down to the basement.

 

It didn't take long before Kalluto lightly tapped on my door which told me that my mother is down there waiting for me. I sighed and shoved my pale hands into my pockets, already ready for another one of her useless beatings. I stepped into the cold basement and noticed Milluki standing next to my mother and Kalluto, a stupid grin planted on his chubby face.

 

"Took you long enough, Kil." He smiled mockingly at me before popping what looked like a salted potato chip into his mouth.

 

Of all of the Zoldyck children, I'm pretty sure Milluki had it easy. Whenever I saw him, he was glued to the computer screen eating junk food. I'd never seen him go outside a day in my life, and I'm not exaggerating. It was pretty unfair that he was probably the only one who never had to see the pleading eyes of a random individual before you brutally murdered them and disposed of their body as if they were never here to begin with. I looked over at the shorter being next to him and realized that I have never seen Kalluto without Mother. She was like my Mother's assistant and it pissed me off.

"Shut the hell up." I mumbled, walking over to the wall which was accompanied by thick, heavy chains hanging from the roof and falling in front of it.

Kalluto walked over to me and quickly chained my wrists to the dangling chains before pulling a lever which pulled the chains upwards, my feet being removed from the comfortableness of the ground below me. I was about a foot from the ground when I felt the skin on my wrists being bruised by the tightness of the cold, rusty metal restraining them.

My mother broke the silence. Her heels clicking with every step she took before she stopped a few inches away from me. She held the handle of her whip in one hand, and held the other end in the opposite. I swear, that whip was like another child to her. She couldn't wait to use it on her own flesh and blood. Especially me, I bet. "Kil, when will you learn? I'm tired of punishing you all the time." She spoke in a voice that I'm guessing is supposed to seem worried.

Like hell she was tired of whipping the shit out of me every time I screwed up. How about a regular talk? A talk that, I don't know, normal families probably do? Oh wait. I forgot my family kills people for money.

I stared at her in disgust. "You aren't tired of this." She gasped, "Hell, you've probably been waiting for a chance to chain me up again, haven't you?" I let out a cold laugh. That'll probably make my whipping ten times worse. Hell, she'll probably even kill me if I'm lucky.

"Kil! How dare you?!" She gritted her teeth and held the whip in the air, not taking a second thought on inflicting the familiar pain onto my chest, leaving but another scar on my bare skin.

_Whip_

"We can't keep taking the time out of our day to do this to you, Killua!" I could barely hear her annoying voice though the sound of the whip cracking in my ears.

_Whip_

"This is painful to us all, Kil! Why don't you understand?" Her voice was fading now. My vision became fuzzy and I think I hear the sound of Milluki laughing in the background. Why was he here again?

_Whip_

She was now spouting out nonsense that I couldn't make out while striking the same spot on my stomach. I felt warmness trickle down my stomach, with the all familiar scent of copper filling my nose. I tried to hold in the pained moans that attempted to escape my lips, failing a few times. She wasn't going to stop now, so I might as well stop trying to suppress the noises. Maybe she'll feel bad and end it early? Of course not. What am I thinking?

"Again, Ma! Again! He needs to learn!" I barely heard Milluki enjoying the show, munching on whatever it was. Laughing at every sound that I tried so hard to keep in.

"Shut up, Milluki!" Mother shouted, striking another tender spot on my side.

"But he need to lear-"

"I said shut up!"

_Whip_

Another pained moan escaped my lips. And another mark was being left, until finally, my body had given up and I passed out.

 

-

 

My head was pounding and my body hung limply from the restraints nailed into the ceiling. I opened my eyes and saw the drops of dried blood on the ground. My stomach was filled with old and new marks, some marks swelled up and blue while others accompanied by dried blood.

"How long has it been?" Illumi's distanced voice filled my ears. I slowly lifted my head in the direction of the exit and sighed.

"A few hours. He should be getting up about now though."

The doorknob turned open and I quickly turned my gaze to the ground. They stepped into the room and made their way over to me.

"Father wants to see you, Kil" Illumi's nonchalant tone annoyed my soul. Hell, all of their voices did.

I lifted my gaze a little to meet his and eyed Milluki who, for some reason, looked surprised.

"I knew you were gonna come and rescue him again, Illumi! That isn't fair! He needs to he punished!" The shorter boy whined.

Before I knew it, I was being let out of the chains by Illumi and it felt great. My blood flow made its way to my fingertips while I began stretching. I smirked at Milluki's pissed expression and earned a glare. At least I managed to piss him off.

 

I made my way to my father's room where he was always accompanied by our watchdog, Mike. I hated my father the least (believe it or not) because I barely got to see him. He was always kept undisturbed in his room, where no one would bother him. I envied the respect he had from all the other Zoldycks. No one bothered to question his orders. Not even me.  
He sat in an oversized sofa and his head rested on his strong fist. He sat with his legs crossed in the seat and stared at me. Compared to him, I was an ant and he was a giant. He stood 6'6" tall while I barely made 5 feet. We barely resembled one another. The only things we shared were our pale skin and silver hair. I was the only child that inherited his silver hair.

"Come take a seat." His deep voice rumbled and I made my way across the room, unsure of where I was allowed to sit since this was the first time I've stayed in here this long.  
He must have noticed my confusion since he pointed to the large bean bag across from him. I sat on the surprisingly comfortable bag and crossed my legs in the seat. He eyed my shirtless body with an expression that I could never interpret, then his blue eyes met mine. Without wasting any more of his time, I spoke.

"Illumi told me you wanted to see me.."

"Yes," he sat himself upright then leaned back into the sofa. "What caused you to hesitate this time?"

I swallowed and stared at the sleeping Mike beside him. Trying to avoid his eyes. "Th-the guy had a family..." I breathed out. "I'm sorry... It's stupid. I won't mess up the next time." I lied. I always said that and here I was now.

My father nodded once and exhaled. "I have another job for you."

Great.

"You're attending school tomorrow."

"W-what?" I'm sure my expression must have been amusing because his thin lips pulled up into a half smirk before he started informing me more about the job he had assigned me. My curiosity only grew when I saw a picture of a boy. He was about my age and he looked extremely happy in the headshot my father made me look at. He was smiling. His cheeks wore a pink tint and his large eyes reminded my of a puppy's.  
Carefree.  
I felt my stomach unsettling and I began to feel queasy. This was my next target. I had to kill this boy. I knew I did and I didn't even have to read a thing.  
I closed the folder containing the information on him and his family. I didn't want to know about him or his family. The less I knew, the better. I lifted my gaze to my father's cold blue eyes and nodded before gripping the thin folder tightly and standing up. I walked to the exit, my hand on the cold handle before my father's voice snapped my attention back to him.

"You have an unlimited amount of time to get this done."

I nodded again.

"If you fail to complete this job, Killua, Illumi'll be the one to complete it for you." He added. "The target will die by Illumi's hands. Right before your eyes."

 

For some reason, his words haunted me. They were like a mantra in my brain. They left an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach and I didn't know why they did.

The target will die by Illumi's hands if I didn't kill him. I couldn't let someone die so brutally. I had to kill this boy.  
I opened the folder and glanced at the name atop of the page in a bold courier font.

"Gon Freecss." I murmured. "I'll be the one to kill you, Gon Freecss."

The rest of my day breezed by regularly. I stayed locked up in my room playing a number of games on my gaming consoles, watching a few episodes of a reality TV show, eating a number of my favorite chocolate while studying the folder my father had given me (which had barely any information about the boy in it), and walking around the wooded area of our family mountain. The walk was the most stressing part of my day. Gon Freecss. I'd have to kill a kid my age and I didn't even know why.

I sighed and made my way back up the mountain and into the house. It was about 9pm now and I'd be attending a school I didn't even know existed. At least I could pretend to be a normal human being. Going to a school with kids my age who's probably never experienced half the things I did.  
Going to the school where Gon Freecss went.

I sighed again and dozed off into my pillow, letting sleep carry me as far as it wanted to. In less than 12 hours, I'd be meeting my target.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haah! Sorry for the super late update! There's a lot going on right now but I thought I should post a second chapter! (Though its kinda short...) Thanks for the kudos and the nice comments. I'll try to update often.  
> Happy reading ☺

It was about 4:45am when sleep had left my body. I sat on my bed, exhausted and trying to remember why I had woken up so early to being with. I rubbed my eyes and noticed a thin manilla folder in my peripheral vision with the tab labeled 'G. F' and I immediately remembered why I had to start my day at the ass crack of dawn. Rolling my eyes at the inanimate object, I stood up and headed straight to the shower.  
After scrubbing off all of yesterday's adventures, I finished the rest of my hygiene and made my way back to my room.  
  
It was nice getting up so early in the morning now that I think about it. Everyone usually started their day by around 6:00 and that was the time I'd be leaving to take the train to school. I don't know why, but I felt a tad bit of excitement while getting dressed. I pulled on the bag that was left beside my bed (that I'm guessing I was supposed to take to school) and ran my hand through my hair.  
I stood in front of the full length mirror when I noticed my shirt was a thin one. If it pressed against my skin, you could be able to make out the bruises mother left yesterday. Frowning, I threw on a hoodie and made my way out of the room.  
  
  
  
"Good morning, Master Killua."  
  
"Hey, Zebro."  
  
The gate guard waved and offered me a warm smile before making some more small chat. "You're out awfully early." He stated, a hint of confusion in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be attending the high school down in the city." I informed, "So I'll be getting out earlier than the rest."  
  
Zebro nodded, asking no more questions before he opened the gate and waved me goodbye. He was one of the few people I actually liked talking to. Though, for some reason, those people would eventually stop talking to me out of the blue. I always thought that its because I was a child and my stories about me beating the bosses in my new games were uninteresting, but after a while, I didn't bother caring anymore.  
  
I made my way to the train station where I caught the train into the city. The train was crowded and noisy and I absolutely hated it. I eyed a few high school students here and there. Some were listening to music on their iPods, there were a few small groups of girls giggling, then there were the loud bunch of boys standing behind me. How could they be so loud? It was  barely 6:00 and they were so energetic.  
If it didn't annoy me when they were laughing loudly in my ears about some stupid viral video, then it sure as hell annoyed me now when one of them backed into me, nearly making me bump my head on the pole I was standing against.  
  
"What the hell?!" One of the boys exclaimed, turning around.  
  
"That's my line. Watch where the hell you're backing up to." I shot back.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"  
  
"The idiot I'm looking at. You." I folded my arms and glared up at the taller boy.  
  
"Tch." He rolled his eyes and turned around to his stupid little posse he was associating with. "Whatever."  
  
  
The train finally stopped about 7 minutes after my encounter with one of the members of the brainless bunch. I pulled out my phone to look up the address of the school and it turns out that I'll have to walk one block down before I actually made it to the school building.  
After about another 10 minutes of walking, I made it to the schoolyard.  
  
"Finally..." I breathed, making my way into the building. I surveyed the entrance, looking to see if I would be able to spot a familiar target. I didn't.  
  
Groaning at my failed attempt, I made my way to the main office where I would be getting a schedule for my classes, a locker number, and a mentor that'd be showing me around the school since I was new. Not that I actually cared to know where anything was. I was only here to kill someone, then I'd be out.  
 As I entered the quiet office, I noticed a middle-aged lady sitting behind the desk typing away on her computer. I'm guessing she sensed my presence because she suddenly looked up from the screen and offered me a fake smile.  
  
"Ah, you must be the new student!"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The lady must've noticed how uninterested I was because that fake smile dropped from her face in a split second.  
  
"Well, Let me get your name so I can print you out a schedule." She clicked her computer mouse a few times before looking back up to my face.  
  
"Killua. Killua Zoldyck."  
  
I saw the lady tense up a bit before turning her head back to the screen and typing in my name. I couldn't hide the smirk that pulled at the corner of my lips when she did. She knew exactly who I was and I'd probably be monitored every time I step foot in this building. No one was going to get in my way while I was doing this job. And if they did?  
  
Oh. Well, it looks like I'd have more than one person to kill.  
  
After a few more clicks, the printer roared to life and a few seconds later, a crisp white sheet of paper popped out.  
  
"Well here is your schedule, mister Zoldyck. Your locker number is on the bottom of the sheet and if you want to take a seat on one of the seats behind you, you can. Just give me a few moments to call in the student who'll be showing you around today."  
She spoke so quickly, I could barely make out any of the words after 'Zoldyck'.  
  
"'Kay." I nodded and took up the offer of sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting area of the office.  
I started playing a few games on my phone when I heard the lady from earlier giggling with what sounded like a student. I didn't bother to look up from my phone because whatever was funny to her didn't interest me. But I did bother to look up when I saw a pair of green boots in front of my sneakers.  
My eyes trailed up from the boots to the person's face, observing who the hell this person was that didn't seem to know what personal space was. He wore green shorts that were a bit too short for his thin, tanned legs. A green jacket that was accompanied by a dark orange color on the ends of the sleeves, the zipper lining, and the pocket linings. He carried a brown and burgundy bag on his back and wore a smile on his sun tanned face.  
  
"Hi! I'm Gon and starting today, I'll be your mentor!" He chirped, holding out a hand that I'm guessing I was supposed to shake.  
  
Moments went by before I realized that I'd been staring at the boy with a dumbfounded expression written all over my face. He waved his hands in front of my face, causing me to  
blink a few times and jump up from the surprisingly comfy office chair.  
  
"Kil-Killua!" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth and a mentally smacked myself. I rubbed my arm awkwardly and shook Gon's hand, who was now giggling at my fuck up.  
  
"Well, Kil-killua," _God damnit._  "Let's start by taking a look at your schedule and then finding your locker." He held his hand out and I handed him my neatly folded schedule.  
  
"Well would you look at that," He started, not bothering to hide interested tone oozing from his voice. "We have the same classes!" He smiled at me before grabbing my arm and leading me out of the office and into the hallway.  
  
 Of course we'd have the same classes. My father was determined to make sure I got the job done as soon as possible. He'd waste no time in making sure our schedules were the same. Hell, I bet our lockers were right next to each other.  
  
"Did you even hear a word I said, Killua?" The boy whined.  
  
"Huh?" I asked, causing the boy to laugh again and shake his head.  
  
"I _said_  our lockers were right next to each other." He repeated.  
  
Told ya.  
  
"Which is weird because I could have sworn the locker that you have now was occupied..." He tapped his chin, drifting into deep thought before stopping and pointing to the dark blue painted locker in front of me before twisting in the combination on the lock of his own.  
He handed me my schedule and took a lock out of his jacket pocket. "The lady in the office gave you a new lock. The combination is taped to the back." He handed me the lock and opened his own locker.  
  
"Thanks." I turned the dial on the lock, putting in the combination and opening it.  
I opened the ajar door of he locker and saw a sticky note stuck on the back of the locker. Pulling the neon pink piece of paper off of the wall, I noticed the handwriting that I knew all too well. My breath halted in my throat when read the words in my head.  
  
"You have no friends. Targets only."  
  
I whipped around and pressed my back against the locker, balling up the sticky note and causing Gon the shriek in surprise.  
  
"S-sorry!" He held his hands up in defense and sighed, "Where did that even come from? Maybe someone is trying to play a joke on you." He frowned. "We can take the note to the of-"  
  
It was a warning.  
  
"No." I cut him off, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. "That's fine. It's fine." I nervously laughed "This doesn't bother me." I lied, "It actually happens a lot." Well that was true.  
  
Unsatisfied with my answer, Gon nodded and held up a finger. "I have to use the restroom one second, I'll be out in a minute."  
  
I waved him off and turned back to my locker. After placing my bag in it, I opened the note again to read Illumi's neat, cursive handwriting.  
'You have no friends. Targets only'  
The target was actually a half-assed drawing of what looked like a target that was used for archery accompanied with an apostrophe and an 'S', signed off with his initials on the very corner of the paper.  
He must've came in the school early in the morning to plant the damn note. I wouldn't be surprised if there were little notes stuck against every corner of this building, warning me about not having friends. Illumi was almost like an obsessive ex-lover, stalking your every move, making sure you have a miserable life ahead of you.  
For most of my life, Illumi always told me that I could never have friends. He always told me that I'd end up betraying them and killing them eventually. He pissed me off to no end. He made sure that if I even got close to a kid my age and were fond of them, he'd scare the hell out of them, making sure they never wanted to talk to me again. And the thing is, he wasn't the only one either. Mother did the same thing. They were both psychotic assholes, the two of them. I can even remember the time when Canary first got hired and my mother stalked us when we were talking. Canary sensed her presence but I was too naïve to know why she suddenly declined the offer to being my friend. She was afraid.  
  
"Damnit." I growled, slamming my locker shut and securing it with the lock that I was given.  
  
-  
  
  
 It was now lunch time and I walked into the lunchroom. Gon showed me where everything was this morning so I didn't have to wait for him after our last class. The scent of greasy pepperoni pizza filled my nostrils and my mouth began to water. I exhaled and tried to remember if I ate any breakfast this morning. After a short time, I came to the conclusion that I skipped the most important meal of the day and then made my way towards the growing lunch line.  
  
"Killua!"  
  
I tried suppressing a smile when I heard his cheerful voice. I quickly paid for my lunch and walked over to the overly happy boy sitting at a table with two other people. I pulled into the open space beside him and placed my food in front of me.  
  
"Hey," I smirked.  
  
"Killua, meet my friends Kurapika" He gestured to the petite blonde, "And Leorio" Then he pointed to the person who looked about the same age as my father. "Kurapika, Leorio, This is Killua. He's new."  
  
"Yo." The old man spoke.  
  
"Aren't you a bit too old to be hanging around high schoolers?" I asked, uncapping my water bottle.  
  
I heard Gon choke on his chocolate milk and Kurapika slapped his hands over his mouth, trying to stop whatever was in his mouth from flying out.  
  
"What?! I'm not old, smartass! I'm not that much older than Kurapika!"  
  
"You look the same age as my dad." I shrugged  
  
Now Kurapika was clutching his stomach, no longer trying to keep in the laughter and Gon tried his best not to laugh, waving his hands in Kurapika's face to try to shut him up.  
  
"I am _not_  old!" He gritted through his teeth, now leaning across the table to get closer to my face. He was pissed.  
  
I took this as a challenge and mimicked his posture, our faces inches away from each other now. "Try telling that to your sideburns." I teased, then stood straight, folding my arms across my chest. "And what's up with your getup? You're wearing a suit and you have a suitcase." I pointed out, "You're probably the librarian or something."  
  
At this point, Gon was on the floor and Kurapika was in tears. If looks could kill, I'd be dead with the way Leorio was glaring at me.  
He groaned and sat down, noticeably pissed as he turned his head the other way. He mumbled a few curses under his breath and I sat down, feeling satisfied with the outcome.  
  
"So Killua," Kurapika breathed out, trying to hold back anymore laughter that might escape, "Where are you from?"  
  
I tensed up a bit, trying to think of a lie that would sound believable. "U-uh..." my food suddenly became the most interesting thing in the room when the everyone at the tables' attention was on me.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Gon added, talking with a full mouth, "I haven't asked you that, did I? Where _are_  you from anyways?"  
  
I picked at the pepperoni on my now cold pizza and averted my eyes from the plate. "I actually don't live too far away from here." I lied. If they knew I live on Kukuroo Mountain, they'd already know that I'm not here for an education. The mountain was no secret, and neither were the family occupying it. Though, the public has yet to see our faces, our last names were well-known. Some people even thought that the whole 'Family of assassins living on the very top of Kukuroo Mountain' was just a legend; And the family wanted to keep it that way. The less the public knew, the easier our jobs were.  
  
"Oh cool, maybe we could hang out sometime out of school?" Gon asked hopefully.  
  
"Umm, sure? Why not?" I lied again. There was no way in hell I could get a chance to hang out with anyone. Not without being punished afterwards, at least.  
  
The tan boy smiled and carried on a conversation with Leorio and Kurapika that didn't interest me much. I dug into my pockets to pull out my phone when the crumpled sticky note fell out, rolling under the table. I tried to use my foot to grab it when Leorio quickly picked it up and eyed me suspiciously.  
"Your first day here and you're already getting love notes?" He teased.  
  
"W-wah? No! Give it back, Gramps." I held out my hand expectantly.  
Before I could say 'Now', Leorio was already opening the note and reading it aloud.  
  
"You have no friends..." He read, furrowing his eyebrows "Targets... only?"  
  
I snatched the note and balled it up again, pissed at the old man staring at me in surprise.  
  
"What was that?" He asked, not hiding the curiosity in his voice.  
  
"Someone left a note in his locker this morning. It was a sick joke one of the jocks probably thought would be funny." Gon answered.  
  
Sitting back down, I felt Kurapika staring at me, and the uncomfortable silence at the table didn't help not one bit for the nervousness settling in me.  
The bell finally rang, signaling us to get to our next class in the next five minutes. Gon rose from his seat and stretched his arms behind his head, Leorio mimicking the action. It was almost like they were related.  
  
"Well me and Killua have P.E next, so we'll see you guys after school."  
  
Gon grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the seat, causing me to stumble a bit.  
  
"See y-"  
  
"We'll walk with you." Kurapika interjected. He grabbed his belongings and pulled Leorio next to him. "Our next class is in the same direction anyway."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The four of us were walking down the crowded hallway when Kurapika tugged at my hoodie. I turned around and was now being pulled into the direction of the nearest restroom.  
Kurapika held a finger up, signaling for me to wait where I was, and checked all of the stalls in the bathroom. After realizing that we were the only two in the room, he turned around and stared at me for a minute.  
  
There was literally only one thing on my mind at this point.  
  
"You're a guy?" I asked surprised.  
  
"Yes, I'm a guy." He frowned. "And you-"  
  
"I think it's pretty obvious that I'm a guy." I pointed out.  
  
"No! I don't care about your gender. I care about what you're doing here. What are you really doing here, Killua?"  
  
"What? You do know you dragged me here, right?" I tried avoiding the topic like it was a plague.  
  
"You know what I mean!" He was now less than a foot away from me and it was almost as his eyes were changing colors. He must have noticed me in awe because he quickly turned away, taking a deep breath. "Your name. I only know one family that has your name. You're a Zoldyck, aren't you?"  
  
"Ha." I let out a cold, humorless laugh. "Zoldyck? You think I'm related to a bunch of whacko assassins? Pfft, those people probably aren't even real! They've never even shown their faces. Hell, we don't even know their names!" I squinted, pointing at his face, my finger less than a centimeter away from his nose. "Unless you're a Zoldyck. You seem to know so much about the legendary family, anyway." I shrugged, shoving my hands into my pockets.  
  
"I'm a Kurta. My last name is Kurta." He eyed me, the suspiciousness not leaving his eyes. "You're being very defensive." I tensed up slightly, "And I don't believe you. So I'll tell you this right now. If you're here granting some kind of death wish, It better not involve any of my friends. Especially not Leorio or Gon."  
  
My breath hitched in my throat at the latter.  
  
"Because Killua, I swear on my life, if any one of them ends up missing, I'll make it my life long goal to do the same to you."  
  
He walked out of the restroom, leaving me astonished, wondering what the hell just happened. I muttered a few curses before I spoke under my breath.  
  
"Kurapika Kurta... you've just made my job ten times harder."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback a;ways welcomed! ♠


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, another short chapter! ;-;  
> o.o I haven't updated in ages! Blame it on severe writers block uwu  
> I hope that never happens again D:  
> Good luck to those who are starting or have already started school again! I start mine on the 24th owo wish me luck!  
> Happy reading! ♥

"Ah! Killua!"  
  
I lifted my head to meet Gon's bright eyes. "Oh. Hey Gon..."  
  
"Where did you go?  You left me talking to myself!" He joked. "Anyways, we have at least two more minutes to change into our P.E uniforms. Hurry!"  
  
I was being dragged by the arm in the direction of the boy's locker room. I've gotten too used to being dragged around by Gon and I haven't even known him for a full 24 hours. It's almost as if I were getting comfortable with him.  
  
Ha. Good one, Killua.  
  
"Okay come on! We have to change or the gym teacher'll make us run 2 extra laps." Gon fought to take off his shirt and put on his gym shorts at the same time.  
  
I stifled a laugh at the boy and shook my head. "Ya know, I don't think you'll be dressed properly if you wear your gym shorts over your regular ones."  
  
He looked at me as if I just told him the sky was made of bricks then looked down at his mistake. "No!" he groaned and fought to take his pants off, falling flat on his butt. "Ouch!"  
  
"Take your time, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't mind running extra laps." I sat on one of the wooden benches by Gon's gym locker and stared up at him.  
  
"Yeah, says _you_. I'd like to not have to miss out on the-" He stared at me, confusion written all over his face. "Killua! What the hell? Get dressed!"  
  
"I can't! I don't even have a gym uniform yet!"  
  
He threw me a white shirt and navy blue gym shorts. It resembled the uniform he wore, except it didn't have the school's logo on either of the clothing.  
  
"Alright, get dressed now!" He ran over to me, somehow properly clothed, and tried pulling off the hoodie I was wearing.  
  
I hugged my body tight, preventing him from pulling it off. "Gon, I can get dressed myself!" I tried kicking him away but he only grabbed onto my bottoms, trying to yank those off.  
  
"Killua! We have to hurry up." With every word he spoke, he tugged.  
I was so close to kicking his face until he finally got my pants off, flying backwards and falling onto his back. I quickly pulled the shorts that he made me borrow on, not risking Gon seeing my bruised upper thighs from when mother would miss my upper body. I thanked no one in particular that Gon stayed in the laying position he was in. His back on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. I stood and eyed Gon, who was smiling for some reason, my pants still in his hands.  
  
"I think I'll just wear this." I broke the silence.  
  
"Okay." He stood himself and shoved my pants and his shirt in his gym locker. "Well lets get this class over with."  
  
  
  
I walked out of the last class of the day with Gon. He carried on about how the extra homework I got for talking back to the teacher was 'unfair'. Hell, it's not like I cared about any of this.  
An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I remembered the actual reason I was here in the first place.  
  
"Don't you think so too, Killua?" Gon interrupted my thoughts with the sudden question.  
  
"Yup." I answered, hoping it was something I'd actually agree to. It wasn't.  
  
"Great! Kurapika and Leorio are always waiting for me in the front of the school so let's meet them there!" He tugged my upper arm and bolted through the crowd of people "This is gonna be fun!" He chirped.  
  
"W-wait! I just remembered I hav-"  
  
"No need to be shy, Killua. They won't hurt you." He giggled and I wasn't too convinced at all.  
  
Sure, Leorio probably won't hurt me. I didn't feel nervous at all when I was near him. It was Kurapika who made me go in defense mode. In the bathroom earlier, I'm positive he looked down on me as if he were a starving lion and I was his next victim. They way his eyes never left mine made my heart pound into my chest and no one has ever made me feel like that. No one else except Illumi. No... Illumi's stare was worse. Empty. Kurapika's stare was a protective one. He wouldn't hurt me unless I messed with what's his; His friends.  
  
"Oi! Gon!" Leorio called from under a huge tree that stood in front of the school.  
  
"Ah, Leorio!" Gon ran over to him, refusing to let go of my damn arm. "Killua said he'll join us for ice cream today!"  
So thats what I agreed to? He's lucky I love ice cream.  
  
"Tch." Leorio rubbed the back of his neck before shoving his hand in his pocket. He held onto the black suitcase he had earlier and shot me a look of disgust. "Are you here to make jokes about me again?"  
  
"As much as I'd like to, I'm not." I waved him off.  
  
"Where's your bag? Did you bring one?" The calm voice asked. Kurapika stepped beside Leorio and I noticed that everyone had a bag except for me.  
  
"I must've left it inside my locker" I turned on my heels "I'll go get it, you guys can g-"  
  
"No." Gon said, taking a seat near the tree trunk. "We'll wait for you."  
  
Leorio and Kurapika sighed in defeat. "Well that's settled," Kurapika started. "Once Gon's made up his mind, you'd have to go through a lot to change it."  
  
"So make it quick, Kid." Leorio added. It looked as is the last word was supposed to be an insult, and if it was, he sure as hell failed.  
  
"You got it, Gramps." After hearing his annoyed groan, I smirked at my victory.  
  
  
  
I made it to my locker and turned the dial on the lock, putting in my code. As soon as I opened the locker door, I was met with several sticky notes plastered onto the walls, all of them written in Illumi's elegant handwriting. I broke out into a cold sweat as I scanned the notes. They were all warnings but only one stood out the most. It wasn't stuck to a wall. It was laying near the edge of the locker.  
  
In a different neatly written script, the paper read "I'll be the one to kill him. My unripened fruit~" and was signed off with a spade* symbol.  
  
I looked down both ends of the hall to notice I was the only one there and that scared me. Illumi was watching me and apparently someone else was watching me too.  
  
I ripped off each of the notes on the walls of the locker and balled them up, my hands shaking in the process. I don't know why I was shaking the much, but I was. Someone was watching me. Someone was watching /Gon/. The image of Gon dying by someone else's hands sickened me and I couldn't put a finger on why it did.  
  
I mean, at least he's gonna be dead right?  
After dismissing the thought, I gathered the last of the sticky notes and walked down the hallway to find the back of the school where I could dump these out without anyone being able to look at them afterwards.  
  
I was so close to the door when I heard his voice.  
  
"Kil"  
  
I stopped on my tracks, trying to swallow the breath that hitched in my throat.  
  
"Kil" The cold voice called again.  
  
My knees were like jelly and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. The notes dropped from my hands, and my hands made their way up to my hair.  
I pulled at my hair and tried covering my ears with everything I had. I was convinced that if i put anymore pressure on my cranium, it would crack.  
  
The vibe around me quickly darkened. It felt like I were in a dark forest filled with trees and absolutely no moonlight. I felt anxious and alone. Why was he the only one able to mess with me the way he did?  
  
As I began to feel even more anxious, my forehead met the floor and it suddenly got hard to breathe. I could feel Illumi's presence but I couldn't see him.  
Why? Why was he doing this to me? He never stalks me on missions so why now?  
  
"Wh-" I barely choked out "Why?"  
  
"You're getting too close to your target" The voice called from one direction. I whipped my head in the direction it was called from and was met with an empty hallway.  
  
"No I'm not!" I shouted, trying hard to cover my ears. That somehow made it worse because it felt like his voice started to come from inside my head and I was just locking it in. Was I imagining things?  
  
"Kil, are you happy with your new...friends?" The voice came from the opposite direction and when I turned around, I still found nothing. He spoke the last word as if it left a disgusting taste in his mouth.  
  
Illumi was playing games with my head again and I am not about to let him have his way. I gathered the scraps of paper and tried my best to keep my hands from shaking. I was almost at the back door when I heard his voice ringing in my head again.  
  
"Kil, you're being very disobedient"  
  
I pushed the double doors open with my back and dumped the notes in the nearest dumpster. Illumi's nonchalant voice still rang in my head, spouting out nonsense about how I'll end up betraying my 'friends'. Little did he know, me and Gon aren't friends... there's no way we could be.  
  
There's no way he'd want to be my friend.  
  
When I walked back through the double doors, I couldn't even walk correctly. The hallway was spinning and my legs were giving out. What was happening? Why wasn't I hearing Illumi's voice anymore? I'm hearing a voice but it isn't his.  
  
"-llua!" The voice sounded distant and echoed in my ears.  
  
"Killua! Wake up! Killua!" The voice shouted.  
  
I couldn't make out the rest of the words after that. I couldn't see anything clearly either. Everything was a blur, and before I knew it, I passed out.  
  
  
  
•••  
  
  
 ** _Sniff sniff_**  
  
 _What the hell is that smell?_  
  
 ** _sniff_**  
  
 _A-apple... pie?_  
  
I opened my eyes to see another set of large amber eyes directly in my face.  
  
"What the F-" Gon clasped his tan hand over my mouth.  
  
"Shhh!" He hushed me, "Aunt Mito is in the other room!"  
  
Aunt Mito? Where the hell am I?  
  
I stared at him with furrowed eyebrows, hinting my confusion and it took him a while before catching on.  
  
"Oh!" He started, removing his hand from my mouth, "You passed out in the hallway at school so I carried you home."  
  
I looked around the room and took it all in. It was a small room but it looked cozy. It was warm and homey compared to mine. My room wasn't homey at all.  
My gaze shifted over to Gon who was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking worried. I sighed and sat up from the bed I was on.  
  
"How did you carry me home? Did someone help you?"  
  
"Nope!" He smiled, obviously proud of himself "Leorio had to go home and study for a test he has tomorrow and Kurapika ended up going with him."  
  
I stared at him in confusion, "Why didn't you go home too?"  
  
His eyes softened and a small smile crept upon his face. "Because you were still there. Who would I be if I just left you alone like that?" He smiled, his eyes sparkled with light. He was so innocent, so pure. Who would want him dead? "Good thing I didn't leave either, because I saw you fall to the ground. You had a very high fever and now you're here!"  
  
I don't know why but I felt happy when he said what he did. "W-why would you go through all of that trouble? Only an idiot would go and carry someone they just met to their house!" I stressed.  
  
"Why?" He tapped his chin then leaned back into the chair he was sitting in. "Because you're my friend, of course!" He beamed  
  
My body froze. He caught me off guard by using such a word. "F-friend..?" I asked.  
  
"Mhm" He smiled. "Anyways, Now that you're up, I'll be right back. Aunt Mito made Apple Pie! I'll bring you up a slice."  
  
After he walked out of the room, I immediately jumped out of the bed, scrambling to find my bag. It was on the ground by the little closet that was in the room. I opened it and dug for the manilla folder my father gave to me. This was the perfect time to get the job done. Quick and silently would be the way to kill him. Even though he considers me as a friend, I still have a job to do. I'm still an assassin. I can't waste anymore time. I _won't_ waste anymore time.  
  
After looking through my belongings, it was concluded that the manilla folder wasn't in there.  
  
 _Damnit._  
  
I groaned and threw my hands into my hair. Why was I getting so nervous? I'd been able to kill people without knowing a thing about them before so why am I so worked up now? All I have to do is crack his neck, make sure he dies, and I'm done!  
  
I walked out into the hallway and sneaked around the house. Gon should be in the kitchen.  
I crept down the stairs and halted at the end, hearing a woman's voice  
  
"It's foolish to go out and look for him, Gon. He could he anywhere!" The person argued.  
  
"But Aunt Mito, I want to know what was so good about the world that he gave up the responsibilities of being a parent. It has to be a good reason!" Gon pushed back.  
  
"Ging was a carefree person, Gon. Anything could have made him want to travel."  
  
There was a long silence and I began to grow nervous. I was just about to retreat to Gon's room when he began speaking again.  
  
"I just want to meet him one day. That's why I'm going to finish school. I'm going to travel and find out what's so good about this world."  
  
"Sure, sure. But now you're going to set the table" She joked.  
  
"Yes ma'am!"  
  
Gon is aiming to finish high school. He has a reason for doing what he's doing. What was my reason for doing what I do again?  
  
"Ah! Killua! I didn't know you were there!" Gon exclaimed  
  
"Oh, no, I just came down. I was bored." I lied.  
  
I had no reason for my doings. He does. He has a good life and... and I have to take that away from him.  
  
I'm **cruel.**  
  
A **monster.**  
  
I looked up at Gon who was apparently talking about something. He looked so happy. He had a caring family.  
  
I was supposed to kill him?  
  
How the hell was I supposed to do that?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ, how long has it been?!  
> I'm sorry I've been slacking A LOT lately and I actually just wrote this chapter so I can have something to post! School has been hell so I have to squeeze in some time for writing (Guess it was an idiotic move to start this story near the end of summer, huh?)  
> Also, I'm sick so this chapter is way shorter than the others-- BUT I'm already working on the next and it'll be better than this one. I PROMISE!  
> Anyway, a new character is introduced ;) guess who?  
> Happy reading! ♥

 

"Alright, Killua! I'll see you tomorrow!" Gon called out to me from his front door.

I waved back at him and continued walking. I continued to walk until I could no longer see the orange glowing lights from his house. Then I ran. I began to run as fast as I could. I had to make it home. It was already too late and I had to get home before someone sent a butler to come looking for me. Or even /worse/

Illumi.

The thought of him popping up right now left a bad taste in my mouth. It'd be bad for Gon if he saw where he li-

_Wait._  It doesn't matter if he finds out where Gon lives... right...?

_Wrong._

Illumi won't get his hands on Gon. Not while I'm around.

I began to make my way to the nearest train station. Around this time, it should be empty so I'd have a better chance of getting on the train.  
When I entered the station, the place was quiet. Only a few people lingered but It was all fine by me. I began to walk through the station, my eyes darting around the place out of nervousness. Why was I so nervous? Illumi can't kill me. It's against family rules.

But he _can_  kill Gon.

I won't let Gon die by the hands of that monster. If he's going to die by anyone, It'll be by my hands.

My heart started to pound in my chest as those words wandered around my head. They made me feel _sick._

I hurriedly made my way to the last train that was nearing in to a stop. I felt a wave of calmness as I looked around at the empty train cart.  
There was no way Illumi could be watching me. I'm safe.  
For now.

"Ah~, you're even more breathtaking in person" An unfamiliar, deep, yet playful voice mused.

I instantly went in defense mode, hopping forward a few feet and turning at the same time. I took in the sight of the tall man grinning at me from a few inches where I stood just a moment ago. He was about my color―if not, darker. His hair somehow defied gravity as it stood in the air. Its as if he used a whole jar if hair gel and his best friend was a blow dryer. He was dressed in a light pink wife-beater and white joggers. He had tattoos of various symbols wrapping around his upper right arm. The guy looks awfully familiar. I've seen this person before but I can't quite get my finger on it.

"Are you going to keep staring at me like that, Killua?" He spoke again, dragging out the words as if it were lyrics to a song.

"How do you know my name?" I snapped, "Who in the hell are you, anyway?"

"Ooo~" He chuckled, taking a step towards me, causing me to take a step back. "Feisty"

I glared at him before balling my hands into fists. "I'm not fucking joking! How do you know my name?!" I growled.

The man sighed before pulling a finger to his chin, tapping it with a sharpened nail. "I don't think I want to answer your question..." He furrowed his eyebrows for a minute and then pulled a deck of cards from his pocket. "Buuut," He dragged, "I _do_  want to fight you, my little kitten."

Kitten? Was this man insane?

"What?" I took a few more steps back before analyzing. "Why? What the hell did I do to you?" My brows furrowed in confusion.  
I looked to see if the opponent had any openings. He did.  From the looks of it, I could try to snap his neck. He was wide open. It's almost as if he were begging me to kill him.  
I smiled at the thought before feeling a hot breath on my neck.

"Boo."

I whipped around to meet the stare of the now intimidating man that somehow made it behind me while I was lost in thought.

He snickered at my reaction to his trick and opened his mouth to say something before I cut him off.

"What do you want from me?"

He raised a perfectly arched brow before putting on an annoying smug look. "I'd rather not say." He groaned and started to shuffle the deck of cards in his hands. "God, you're making this boring." He exhaled, stopping his shuffling before pulling out a joker card and showing it to me.

All of a sudden, the aura around him took no time in changing to a dark, greatly intimidating one. I jumped backwards a few times, my lungs trying to find the oxygen that suddenly went missing.

This aura. Its almost the same as Illumi's.

That's it.

This is all Illumi's doing. If he couldn't come himself, he'd send someone in his place. It always worked like that. Except, I couldn't kill this one.  
No matter how I tried looking at it;  
The numerous openings, the laughing― He was _waiting_  for me to jump in at him. This guy could probably  _kill_ me.

"Come  _on_ " He whined playfully, "aren't you an assassin? I heard you're a _ruthless_ one~" He licked his lips and stared at me as if I were his favorite dish. "But I have to get you to that point... How do I do that?" He mumbled, barely audible. He took a few more steps towards me, causing me to step backwards on cue.

I tried more to control my breathing. The air around us managed to get thick and I was already backing into the corner of the cart.

I have to get out of here.

I _have_  to.

 

 

The man was now right in front of my face with his joker card pressed firmly against my neck. I felt as if I were having an asthma attack by the way my lungs tried to desperately search for air. I attempted to glare at the man as he chuckled at my mishap, pressing the card deeper onto my skin. I felt a warm substance trickling down my neck and I instinctively threw an unsteady punch to the man's jaw, instantly silencing his laughter.

For a split second, his pressing got soft and I used that to my advantage. I slipped down to the ground and lunged forward from in between his legs. I quickly rolled, catching my balance as I popped up and stared at the man.  I touched the warmth on my neck with the tips of my fingers and rolled my eyes when I saw the crimson color.

"I really don't have time for this." I argued, getting annoyed at this mystery man. "Just tell me who you are and what you want." My breathing finally slowed down as his aura went back to a less intimidating one. Illumi always had that kind of affect on me and now obviously, this clown does too.

He let out an exasperated sigh before continuing to shuffle his cards. He looked unamused as he began to speak, "And I don't have time for _this_ "

It all happened so quickly, I couldn't process what was happening.. He somehow ended up behind me once again and with a simple chop to the neck, I was on the ground. I couldn't move but I was still conscious and aware. For a normal person, they'd be out cold.

My lack of moving ability was used to his advantage as he lifted me up effortlessly and slung me across from his shoulder like I were some kind of rag doll.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked in a demanding tone.

"Who knows?" He answered simply.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh GOD I'm sorry you even read that horrible chapter. It was so rushed I am VERY sorry.  
> Did you guess the mystery man yet? *Winks*  
> Also, you can follow me on tumblr [here!](http://killuainkstrokes.tumblr.com/)


	5. Everyone Thinks That We're Perfect. Please Don't Let Them Look Through The Curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't updated as earlier as I thought It would be because of the "Select all" and "Cut" option on my phone(Where I normally write the chapters), SO here's a week late update! (That rhymed... kinda..?) But hey, It was updated on my birthday *eyebrow wiggle*  
> Anyways, I've let you guys in on a couple of character's point of view so I hope that's okay??  
> Of course it is.  
> Happy Reading! ♥
> 
> P.S: Yes, the chapter title is, in fact, a line from Melanie Martinez's song "Dollhouse"  
> I've been getting my inspiriation from her crybaby album I think its pretty rad, honestly.

**Gon**

 

  
  
Killua was in a rush to leave my house. It was a bit odd but I just brushed it off as curfew. I giggled at the thought of Killua getting scolded by his family for getting home late on a school night.  
I can already imagine him getting home late for and his father scolding him while his mother tried her best to calm her husband down, giving Killua a reassuring hug. It was a perfect family, I bet.  
  
I locked the door and made my way to the stairs quietly before aunt Mito tried stopping me. I failed.  
  
"Gon! I hope you're going to shower tonight. You don't want to be late to school tomorrow." She called from the kitchen.  
  
I sighed before answering "I'll shower tomorrow morning! And I won't be late!" With that, I ran up the stairs before she could yell at me for not listening to her simple tasks.  
  
Skipping into my room, I took about five steps before tripping and falling over an unidentified object.  
  
"What the heck?!" I muttered under my breath, hoping aunt Mito's ears won't somehow magically hear. (She'd scold me for saying something like "frick", honestly). I took a look at the bag laying on the ground and slumped my shoulders. Killua forgot to take his backpack with him.  
  
I fixed his belongings in his back pack neatly when I noticed a manilla folder's tab sticking up from the very back of the bag. It wouldn't have caught my eye if I would have never seen the letters "G.F" labeling it.  
  
"G.F..." I spoke under my breath, "What could that mean?..."  
  
Then I got it. There's only one thing it _could_  stand for.  
  
My eyes widened in surprise as I gasped. Killua has a girlfriend! I giggled to myself before pushing the folder back into his bag. As much as I'd like to find out who this mystery girl is, it isn't any of my business. I just met him today so I have to respect his privacy.  
  
_I know he'd respect mine._  
  
I went into deep imagination of Killua being intimate. It must be nice to have a significant other. maybe that's where he rushed out to; To see the one he loves.  
  
After placing his backpack next to mine, I finished what little homework I had before getting settled into my bed. Killua's scent lingered on my pillow, taking me into the comfortable nothingness of sleep-land.  
  
I can't wait to see my newest friend  tomorrow morning.  
  
  
  
  
**Kurapika**  
  
  
  
"No, Leorio, I don't know anything about neurological disorders. No. Leorio it's too late to be- I do _not_  sound like a girl! Leorio, I'm hanging up now. No, I won't answer if you call back!"  
  
I turned my phone face down on my dark colored, wooded computer desk after ending the call. This was the third time this week that Leorio called me about his doctor studies, and it's only Monday. I sighed heavily before reminiscing on today's events, lingering on one thought in particular. Killua Zoldyck.  
  
He could try to deny the last name as much as he wanted to but I know that he is, in fact, a Zoldyck. I just need to get some proof.  
  
I opened my black laptop and pressed the power button. As my laptop was booting up, I remembered the conversation me and Leorio had on our walk home from school earlier.  
  
  
_"So, do you think that the new kid is a bit weird?" Leorio asked me, looking straight ahead._  
  
_"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him, hiding the curiosity from my voice._  
  
_Of course I thought he was weird, but I wasn't going to say anything about it._  
  
_"I don't know, I mean, his hair. Have you seen it?" He glanced at me, shrugging when his gaze was back at the city in front of him._  
  
_"You're jealous of his hair?" I teased._  
  
_"What? No! It's just that, I read somewhere that the family up in that mountain," He pointed to the mountain in the distance, "Has a son with silver colored hair."_  
  
_I glanced up at him and waited for him to continue._  
  
_"The grandfather, the father, and one son has the hair color, the article said, If I remember right."_  
  
_"Hm? What else do you know?" I pushed, trying not to sound interested._  
  
_"Well, the article also said something about them showing themselves in public once in a while to complete special missions. Theres never been anyone to see them since, of course, no one knows how they look." He glanced down at me again before adding, "And if someone happens to notice a face of one of the Zoldycks, the person disappears. No trace of them left behind." He finished darkly._  
  
_A sudden uneasiness settled in my gut that I brushed off._  
  
_"Talk about stupid conspiracy theories," I joked, "am I right?"_  
  
I stared at my laptop and pressed on the web browser icon. Opening up Google, I clicked the rectangular search bar and typed in 'The Zoldyck Family' then pressed enter. After a few milliseconds of waiting, the webpage loaded, accompanied by bolded links. I scrolled down a few links until I found one that caught my eye,  
  
"The Truth Of The Zoldyck Family" I read out the title.  
  
I clicked the link and was brought to a newly loaded tab. The webpage was a blog ran by some community organization who were formed to go against the Zoldyck family. at the bottom of the page, there were threads of comments about their hatred for the family.  
  
After skimming through the explicit word choices those people chose to use, I came across another underlined link. The person who posted the link was an anonymous user who had not made an account on whatever website this was.  
I clicked the link, only for it to open up another tab. This newly opened page's background had black silhouettes of people on a gradient purple background. The foreground consisted of a grid layout of sketches. All together, there were seven sketches of what I'm guessing were the Zoldycks. The first sketch consisted of an old man with silver hair, the second was a man with really long silver hair(he was undoubtedly younger than the first man), The third sketch was a lady with long straight black hair, the fourth was a teenager with about shoulder length hair —His eyes reminded me of a dead person's. It seemed to empty. Under his picture was an italicized warning that read: Do not approach. Will kill without hesitation.  
  
I stared at the mysterious teens' picture for a small moment before moving onto the next sketch.  
  
 The fifth guys' face made me assume that he was not in the best of shape. He had an undercut with squinted eyes and his face was like a natural scowl. He looked downright mean.  
The sixth persons was a small child. Her hair was short and she looked like her biggest crime was stealing a lollipop from a convenience store.  
  
I snickered at the thought and went over the last picture. Here it was. Here _he_  was.  
  
Killua _Zoldyck_.  
  
He looked much younger in this sketch than he did now but you could clearly tell it was _him_. His uniquely shaped eyes and the disinterested look was captured perfectly by the artist.  
  
I stared at the perfect little assassin family on my screen, smirking as I found the print option on the page and printed out every sketch that was on the website. There was no way he could deny the fact now.  
  
I have my proof.  
  
It was from an unreliable source but still,  
  
"Proof." I whispered to my self, eyeing the warm, crisp sheets of copy paper neatly stacked in the printer.  
  
•••  
  
  
**Killua**  
  
  
"...do you mean...ka?"  
  
"...mission...tting paid~"  
  
I slowly blinked, waking up from a deep slumber. I've been hearing the same two voices for about five minutes and I still couldn't process their sentences. I tried rubbing the blurriness of sleep from my eyes when I felt the tight, thick ropes wrapped around my body.  
  
"The fuck?" I mumbled to myself, blinking frantically at my lap. As soon as my eyes cleared up, I realized that I was tied to a chair.  
  
"Oh look, your princess has finally awoken." A feminine voice deadpanned, causing my head to shoot up in her direction.  
  
"Mm~, looks like it." The evil clown mused.  
  
"I don't understand why you have to bring him _here_  though." She argued, looking madly annoyed by Clown guy.  
  
"I told you Machi, because his brother wanted him home"  
  
"So you bring him here?"  
  
"Yes." He nodded.  
  
"This isn't his  _fucking_  home, Hisoka."  
  
"Machi, Machi, Machi," He sighed, tapping his finger on her nose with every word he said, "His brother isnt going to get him. Not yet, at least."  
  
"Hisoka, I swear to whatever God there is if the bo-"  
  
"You're keeping me fucking hostage?!" I interrupted, earning an annoyed groan from Machi and an amused smirk from Hisoka. "I dont know what the hell is going on but I-"  
  
"Tell that to Illumi~" The name rolled off his tongue like his favorite dessert, "He isn't getting you back until he fights me... or replies to my text messages, whatever comes first."  
  
Machi rolled her eyes and walked over to a door at the corner of the room. "Keep that bright-eyed "kitten" out of everyone's way, you perverted clown", and with that, she was out.  
  
I glared up in Hisoka's direction while he sat on a windowsill near the top on the wall "You know my brother?"  
"Mhm. We're friends~"  
  
"What?" I laughed out bitterly "Friends?" I asked again.  
  
"Yeah. I even have his cellphone number."  
  
"Illumi has a cellphone? What?"  
  
"His number is saved under "Mr. Grumpy Gills"", the clown mused.  
  
"Great." I deadpanned, "now how about letting me out?"  
  
"No can do. Illumi's going to be the one to do that~"  
  
No.  
  
"H-he's coming? H-here?" I stuttered out, small beads of sweat growing on my forehead.  
  
"He's on his way. He should be here really soon."  
  
_No._  
  
"Speaking of the devil." He joked, opening the window.  
  
His silky, ebony hair flowed in after him, gently falling on his back when he landed on the ground. His dark eyes met mine and my breath stopped in my throat. After his expressionless face met mine, he looked up to Hisoka who looked like a love-struck teen.  
  
"I thought I told you to bring him to me?" His loud, but gentle voice rang through the room.  
  
"Well, you'd have known he was here about 3 hours ago if you answered my text messages."  
  
"I ignored your messages." Illumi stated dully.  
  
Hisoka's eyes widened, full of betrayal for about a second before pouting. "B-but-"  
  
"Im letting Kil out." He interrupted, walking over to me. He pulled at the ropes around my abdomen until it ripped, letting it fall to the ground.  
  
I stood and rubbed my arms and wrists, letting out a relived sigh. Illumi looked down at me for a few long seconds.  
  
"You're going to bruise." He commented.  
  
"Yeah..." I looked down at my wrists.  
  
"We're going home." Illumi said aloud, at both me and Hisoka, I guessed.  
  
He jumped off of the wall then over Hisoka, out of the window he sat by. I followed him, feeling Hisoka's stare burning into my back while running behind my brother.  
  
"Mother's waiting for you." He stated, not looking at me.  
  
"I know..." I sighed irritably.  
  
There's always room for more marks on my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That hinted HisoIllu though. (I'm sorry I LOVE hisoillu.)
> 
> You can always follow my
> 
> [tumblr](http://killuainkstrokes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> if you want, also.


	6. Your Best Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Lots. Of. Angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild UPDATE appears!  
> >Read Ignore  
> Ok but no, really. It's been about 5 centuries I AM SORRY! But I am NOT sorry that I made a comeback with an angsty chapter >:3  
> I had this chapter saved for months. I didn't wanna post it because it was too short and I thought it was horrible (Which it is), but... it's here!  
> Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I hope you enjoy it!  
> Like always, Happy Reading! ♥  
> Chapter title from Undertale's song "Your Best Nightmare" (I love that game so much, btw)

"You can't do anything right, can you?!" She shouted over the cracking of her beloved whip hitting my tender skin.  
  
"All I want is for you to _l_ _isten_  to me Killua!"

 _Whip_  
  
"Why don't you listen?!"  
  
_Whip_  
  
"Why?!"  
  
_Whip_  
  
"ANSWER ME!"  
  
Then she stopped. She stopped and stared at me. I felt her gaze burning through the gadget on her face. She finally stopped and that's when the pain sank in.  
I lifted my head that suddenly felt like it weighed fifty more pounds than it did 3 hours ago. I stared at the crazed lady before me, eyes empty from having to go through this on more than one occasion.  
  
"I think I heard mother ask a question." Milluki chimed in from behind her, popping another potato chip into his mouth, "Didn't you, Kalluto?"  
  
The smaller one payed Milluki no attention, keeping her eyes locked onto me.  
  
"Tch." He spat, visibly aggravated by Kalluto not feeding into his bullshit.  
  
It was irritating. Mother was irritating. Milluki was irritating. Kalluto was irritating. These chains. The whip. The feeling of the warm blood rolling down my legs and dripping to the ground. Everythi-  
  
_Whip_  
  
"F-fu-" I choked out in pain  
  
_Whip_  
  
There is was again. No matter how much I hoped, this lady wouldn't stop beating me.  
  
_Whip_  
  
She hates me.  
  
_Whip_  
And then the familiar feeling of blackness overtook my senses.  
  
  
\---  
  
I woke up to the feeling of soreness, stinging, and warmth.  
  
I blinked a few times, trying to get a hold of my surroundings. I sighed in relief at the familiar sight of my gaming systems and television at the opposite end of the room.  
  
I laid back onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I absentmindedly threw my arm over my forehead, earning a hell of a lot of pain as a result. I rolled my eyes before slowly getting up, walking to my full-length mirror, and eyeing the damage done to me this time.  
  
I furrowed a brow at my reflection.  
  
"The hell?" I whispered to myself, gently sliding my fingertips down my torso, over the bandages and gauze covering my newly earned bruises and cuts.  
  
My cuts were cleaned and bandaged. I racked through my mind, trying to reminisce on the part of the day where I cleaned my cuts, bandaged them, and -I smelled my underarms before my eyebrows shot up in surprise- took a bath?  
Walking back over to my bed, I sat down cross-legged, holding one of my pillows to my stomach.  
  
Then it hit me. I was hugging my pillow, on my bed, in MY room. Something was obviously off. I never woke up in my room. I'm supposed to be chained down in the basement, and I know for a fucking fact that I don't "sleep break out of chains, tend to my wounds, shower, and make my way up to my room". At least I don't think I do.  
  
In the midst of my thought process, there was a faint tapping on my door. I stared questioningly at the door until a few more taps sounded my quiet room.  
  
"What?" I asked, half annoyed at whoever stood on the other side of the thick cherry wood hinged onto the wall.  
  
The door opened slowly, revealing a small head peeking through the opening. Thick, black locks fell off of a shoulder, held back by a headband. My eyes widened at the sudden realization and her curious facial expression shifted quickly into the lit up one she always wore around me.  
  
"A-Alluka...?" I asked. She nodded frantically, taking her hand off of the doorknob and grasping the side of the door instead. "I-I thought..." I trailed off.  
  
"Oh no" Another familiar voice joined, "You're right." I glared at the door being pushed open, revealing Milluki's irritating stare. His chubby hand latched onto Alluka's smooth hair, pulling her back a few inches.  
  
I scowled at the gesture, hopping up from the bed and ignoring my body's pained complaints at the sudden movement. "What the _f_ _uck_  do you think you're doing, Idiot?" I growled.  
  
Chuckling at my aggressiveness, Milluki showed a toothy grin before pushing Alluka's head, causing her to fall to the ground with an "oof"  
  
I basically snapped. Every sane thought I had in my mind vanished. I bolted to him, kneeing the hell out of his stomach before quickly jabbing him in the jaw. "You fucking-" I grabbed him by his hair before I looked him directly in the eyes. His pained face satisfied something twisted in me. But then, he started laughing.  
  
I wasted no time in banging his head repetitively onto the hinges of my door. His groans satisfied me. I wore a twisted grin as I saw the tiniest bit of crimson on the crisp white button up he wore. I felt even more satisfied when I heard his yelling and felt him trying to counter me. What I didn't like though, is the feeling of two small arms wrapping around my torso, attempting to pull me aside. Alluka's "stops" and "pleases" did nothing to satisfy me. The terrified look on her face didn't either.  
  
Why was she telling me to stop? He hurt you. He hurt my little sister. No one hurts my little sister. No one.  
  
I gripped the back of his neck, my nails piercing the skin as I wanted so badly to grab a hold of his spinal cord and tear it clean out of him.  
  
He more I contemplated the thought, smiling while giving another forceful bang to a hinge or kick to the back, the more Alluka's pleading for me to stop became louder.  
  
But why? He hurt her. He has to die. He has to.  
  
The warm feeling of another person's blood between my nails did something to fire me up. It felt as if I were painting a picture when their blood splattered before me. It satisfied the monster in me. It satisfied _me_.  
  
Then he stopped moving. He went limp. Did he die? I hope he's dead.  
  
I unhooked my now clawed nails from his neck, watching him fall to the ground on his stomach. I studied his body, the faint rise and fall of his back ate at something in me and thE anger was back.  
  
Even though I see the pool of blood forming from his empty wound. Even though I _know_  he's dying.  
  
But dying isn't the same as dead.  
  
He needs to be _dead_.  
  
I looked over at Alluka and she looked up at me. Her wide, silvery eyes were now glassy, fixed with tears. Her cheeks were now rosy from crying, while her bottom lip threatened to quiver.  
  
"It's okay, Alluka. He can't do anything to you n-"  
  
"...nster" she breathed out shakily  
"W-what?"  
  
"Monster. Y-you're a monster..." She confirmed.  
  
I stared at her. She couldn't be serious. I saved her. I _sav edher_. She could have _died_  just now.

  
_No she couldn't have._  
  
Milluki almost killed her. I had to kill him... Right?  
  
_All he did was push her. You don't die by being pushed, Monster._  
  
Okay but he ha-  
  
_You're a Monster, Killua._  
  
I'm not-  
  
_But you are. You kill innocent people. You killed your own_ brother. _And you're going to kill another innocent person._  
  
I didn't kill him. He's still breathing!  
  
_He's about to stop breathing. He's about to stop breathing because of you._  
  
He had to die.  
  
_So does Gon._  
  
...  
  
_He might hurt Alluka._  
  
He wo-  
  
_Alluka will love you if you saved her._  
  
He won't hurt her.  
  
_He'll hurt her. He'll treat her just like Milluki did. Right before you saved her._  
  
...I saved her.  
  
_You saved her. Now do it again._  
  
But-  
  
_Do it again before it's too late._  
My eyes trailed over Milluki's limp posture, once again satisfied with his state. Then I nervously looked over to Alluka, She fell onto her bottom and scooted away from me. I held out a bloodied hand to her and she slapped it away. She slapped my hand away like it physically burned her.  
  
"G-get away... You monster!"  
  
  
_Save her before it's too late._  
  
  
  
  
  
Something warm trickled down my cheeks. The trail of whatever it was fell onto the corner of my lips, engulfing me with a salty taste.  
  
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and opened my eyes.  
  
"You're finally up, Kil." A familiar voice buzzed through my head, causing my brain to start pounding into my skull.  
  
"W-why are you here?" I felt like puking.  
  
"I was told to keep an eye on you until you woke up."  
  
"I thought that was Milluki's job."  
  
"It is."  
  
"Then why isn't he here?"  
  
"I'm unchaining you. Then you have a little over an hour to begin dressing for school. Father's orders."  
  
As I was being unchained, I thought of whatever it was that had just happened. It had to be a dream. It made no sense, I couldn't have done that.  
  
Unless I did.  
  
I looked at my hands. Clean.  
  
I didn't.  
  
I glanced at my brother's impassive expression while he unchained me. I could never read him, but something in my gut knew that he knew something I didn't.  
  
The nauseous feeling started to build up, causing my feeling to throw up multiply. I suddenly felt disgusting.  
  
What did I do?  
  
"D-did I kill him...?"  
  
I must've caught Illumi by surprise because he dropped the key that unlocked my chains on the ground. He swiftly picked the key back up, picking the lock, causing it to click and open. He stuffed the key into his pocket and stared at me. He stated me directly in the eyes. His eyes blank but if you looked hard enough, you could see the... worry? _No._ Illumi Zoldyck isn't worried about me. But the longer I held his stare, the more I believed that the emotion in his eyes were real. He stared at me a second more, almost if he _wanted_  me to see something in his eyes.  
  
"No."  
  
With that, he turned on his heel and left. I stared at the opened door and then at the ground. That annoying ass throbbing in my wrists didn't stop, causing me to raise my arms and look at them.  
  
They were bruised. My cuticles were ripped, just as they would have been if I shifted my fingers into claws. I furrowed my eyebrows, scratching my head, trying to figure out exactly what the fuck. As my hand made it to my hair, the faint smell of the antibacterial hand soap Illumi always used after his mission entered my nostrils.  
  
The sudden wave of nausea hit me once more and I slapped my hand across my mouth, running to the restroom on the second floor, trying desperately to keep the mess down. When I made it to the bathroom, I shut the door and let it out in the toilet, heaving and then throwing up again.  
  
After my little puke fest, I ran the shower, turning the dial to 'H' before stripping my clothes and stepping into the steaming water. My head refused to calm down as I watched the sweat, grime, and blood cloud the water and swirl down the drain.  
  
Just what the fuck is going on around here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the characters are a little ooc bUT TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS STORY IS GOING SOMEWHERE 'KAY? KAY.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! You can always leave feedback either here, or on my
> 
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> . Suggestions always welcomed!


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